The Girl Behind the Mask
by The 80lb Carrot
Summary: Yes, I think Jubilee is incredibly annoying, but I figured I could give her character a closer look.


The Girl Behind the Mask

By: The 80lb Carrot

Disclaimer: Generation X is not mine and I am making no money off of this story.

Summary: A closer look at one of the most annoying X-people ever created- Jubilee

Rating: PG

Notes: Yes, I am one of the many Jubilee-haters in this world, but I felt that I should give her character a closer look. If you want to archive this, or any of my stories, email me.

Author's Note: This piece is pure fiction, thought up from the back of my head. *None* of it is personal.

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Paige sat on the couch, her legs folded under her as she listened intently to the story Angelo told. He was sprawled out in a chair in the center of the room, his extra skin piled on the floor. Everett had collapsed on the rug, his eyes half closed with boredom and Monet sat beside him, prim and proper as always. Jono stood in a corner, silent like usual, his face and torso hidden under wraps of black cloth. And me? I was behind the sofa, slumped over it with my face buried in the cushions as I blocked out every lie Angelo told. Which was basically everything- with Angelo and his stories it was a whole bunch of smile and nod.

Which was okay by me, don't get me wrong. Gives me plenty of time to think. Yea, I know- me, Jubilation Lee, the gum-chewing mall rat who can't spit out a single sentence without using the word like at least three times, thinking? Well you can leave off with the gaping jaw effect because it's true. There is some semblance of a brain inside the cavity best known as my head, and I use it more often than you believe. But; I wouldn't be me to them if I let them know that, now would I? The Jubilee they know is a bubbly, babbling, annoying 'chica' who uses her mouth like another mutant ability. I use that image to my advantage, it keeps them from worrying.

Why would they even bother to worry about her, you wonder. She's such a cheerful person, you say, there can't possible be anything wrong. And even if there was, she can take care of herself, like she did with Bastion's creeps, you think. Heads up, morons, am I that good an actress that you can't tell?

Laughter hides tears.

Joy hides sadness.

Being labeled annoying beats being labeled depressed.

I don't talk about myself much, never seemed like there was anything interesting in my life- and I'm not about to make up some bogus story so that people will care about me. Sure I'm an orphan- so are Cyke, Wolvie, 'Ro, and Gumbo, to name a few. And countless others were abandoned by their parents, take Rogue for example. Forced to run away from her home and live with the queen bitch herself (next to Frosty, of course). There's nothing in my life that separates me from the others, that makes me special. My past is no worse than anyone else's. I mean, at least my powers didn't backfire on me when they first emerged.

Then again, there are things people don't know.

I've always felt- no, known- that no one understands me. Yes, part of the reason is because I won't let them, but the truth is that no one even tries to get close to me. There are days when I know its painfully obvious that tears are being held back with my last ounce of strength, but no one cares. 

You know, maybe if I was still an X-man instead of being moved down here to the school I wouldn't have to hide all this teenage emotional baggage. Up at the mansion I have Wolvie to talk to; here I've got no one. I can't hide a thing from him and I like it that way, at least I know somebody cares about me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Sean and Frosty love us all, I've heard that before . . . doesn't mean I believe it. Look people, I'm not as dense as I act, I can tell truth from lies.

I've made a vow to myself- I will not cry. Crying is a sign of emotional weakness that others can use against you, I learned that the hard way and it's not something I was to experience again. But; I've realized that after being so emotional for so long, I'm beginning to go numb. It used to hurt because I felt too much, now it hurts because I feel too little. Seems all emotion has been drained from me, leaving me with only raw terror that eats me from the inside.

My worst fear is losing someone close to me. I wake up suppressing screams because I dreamed that I lost them all. I know it's selfish to always want someone there for me, but I can't help it. Worst, I have to keep the fear bottled up inside- a person like me isn't allowed to be afraid, or at least to show it. A shoulder to cry on would be nice some times, and yet none is offered because they don't know I need one. Not to literally cry of course, just someone to spill everything to. Am I asking too much?

That rat bastard Bastion didn't help any either. None of them know what really happened to me there, not even Wolvie. I'm scared of his reaction, whether he goes berserk again or just tells me I've overreacting-- like always. But with-with *him* I was poked and prodded, tortured and secluded as they hoped to get information out of me. Four months later scars still lace my skin and yet no one notices, or cares. And the nightmares . . . 

I know I have to be strong, for their sake as much as mine. If they even had the slightest hint about the real me I've kept hidden all these years, all their time would be taken up worrying about me and I won't have that. Better keep it locked inside than bother other people with my problems. I'll work them out eventually.

Oh God, I will not cry, I will not cry, I will not cry. Keep telling that to yourself, Jubilation, and maybe you'll believe it. That's the nice thing about keeping my face pressed into the cushions, they can't see me fighting to keep the tears at bay. Hah, and I'd thought I'd cried them out years ago to Wolvie on numerous occasions. If only I could be so lucky.

Angelo's wrapping up his story. Okay Jubilee, time to act like the ditz they all think you are. Come on, laugh like you mean it, you've been doing it for years shouldn't be that hard anymore. Don't slouch, that's a dead giveaway that something's wrong. And the eyes, girl, the eyes! Who cares if they're dark and no one can read anything from them, they're still a part of the act. Hopefully I've got everything right this time.

Uh oh, Jono's giving me a weird look. *Everything okay, Jubes?*

I smile at him and nod, answering him through the psychic link he formed. *Yea, like, course I am. There any reason why I wouldn't be?*

He still looks at me strangely and I pray I wasn't broadcasting. Like I said, it's hard to hide secrets from telepaths, but sometimes it works. Don't let the mask fall, chica, keep the act up. They've believed it all the years I've been at the school, no reason why I should give them a reason to doubt me now.

Dear God, I wish Wolvie was here.


End file.
